HOW TO LET GO OF A BESTIE AND REALLY FOCUS MORE WITH YOUR PARTNER

In one of my previous articles which clearly spelled out the dangers of having a bestie in a relationship, it was crystal clear how destructive the presence of a bestie can be to even the most promising affairs. Having perused that piece of writing and considered its projections, it is only normal that one who places premium value on his or her affair will want to see to the longevity and sustenance of that affair by getting rid of besties or any appearance of besties (if there was any).

It is in that regard that I thought it wise to put up another piece that points to the steps to take in putting besties at bay. It is an agreeable fact that letting go of people with whom one shares a strong bond or connection usually isn’t a walkover. Some newlyweds even find it hard to completely disconnect from their parents a couple of years after moving in with their spouses due to their strong bond with their parents, developed over the years.

But even married couples who are out to achieve marital success know better than let such parental bond come between them and their spouses. This is due to the value they place on their partner and their marriage. If one could play down on the bond of blood just to keep his or her marriage intact, how much more casting off mere besties for the singular purpose of building an unadulterated affair with a significant other that could result in a lifelong union?

So, therefore, if you cherish your relationship, if you hold your partner in high regard, if you do not want to inspire mixed feelings in your affair, and if you do not want to cross that thin line between love and hate on account of a bestie, it is of the essence that you brush aside the idea of entertaining besties no matter how well-meaning you may be, and here are a couple of ways to go about that, hence focusing more on your partner with undivided attention.

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DISCONNECT OR DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM HIM OR HER

Like they say: “out of sight is out of mind.” In keeping a bestie at bay for the purpose of grooming a loving affair, keeping besties out of sight goes a long way to have that settled. So, in essence, you must employ every means possible to try and disconnect or distance yourself from besties. That could imply that you most definitely will have to stop seeing them, stop texting them, stop chatting them up, and stop calling them as before.

When this is done, expect that they (the besties) may confront you about it, and that would be a proper time to spill it out to them how busy you are with your partner, such that you have little or no time left to indulge them as before. However, this should be done with politeness because chances are, you might need them someday.

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PRAISE YOUR PARTNER IN HIS/HER PRESENCE

Breaking off from certain besties will certainly not be a walkover. So, if after you have tried disconnecting or distancing yourself from them, yet, they prove to be hard nuts to crack, your next line of action should be to make it a point of duty to praise your partner in their presence. If by accident you run into a bestie or besties you intend to let go, make sure you cease every moment in the discussion to speak of how good your partner is to you.

A constant telling and repetition of stories like that are known to irritate the hearer and sometimes spark feelings of jealousy. Besties surely don’t want to spare you their time so you can. It serves them better if you spare them the details. That is why you must never spare them the details. Never stop feeding them with stories of how your partner is the best in the world. If there are no stories to tell, make them up. There is no crime in that.

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DO AWAY WITH WHATEVER GIFT YOU GOT FROM YOUR BESTIE TO ERASE THE MEMORY

Gifts are usually intended to create memories, and gifts you had received from your besties in the past will do no less. In your quest to disconnect from besties, also do away with whatever gifts you had received from them in the past. That way, memories of those besties will also be done away with, the same as the besties themselves.

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DO NOT HONOUR HIS/HER INVITATION TO PARTY OR ANY WAY

Depending on the bond your bestie must have had with you, letting you be when you try to disconnect might be difficult for them and they may try to see how to get things back to normal. One of the ways by which they may try to achieve that will be to set up a meeting. Now, that is one invitation you must never honor. If you have to do so, go with your partner.

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HAVE A PLAN OR VISION FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP

A famous saying has it that “when the purpose of a thing is unknown, abuse becomes inevitable.” Besties are mostly entertained by those in visionless affairs. Besties are distractions, and one sure way to deal with distractions is by being a visionary, hence the need for you to have a vision for your relationship and not just date for dating sake.

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IF THERE IS SOMETHING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR BESTIE YOU LIKE, ENCOURAGE YOUR PARTNER TO GO FOR IT

Sometimes the reason people cling to besties is that they see something in them (besties) that they don’t see in their partner. It could be the way he or she dresses, talks, it could be money or time management, personality etc. Rather than entertain a distraction in the form of besties for such mundane reasons, why not simply encourage your partner to cultivate those traits? They are no imperfect persons. But you can always pick an imperfect partner and make him or her your own idea of “perfect.” After all, that’s the role love should play in an affair if true love exists in that affair.

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So, so, so, there you have it! A loving affair is a beautiful thing that should never be jeopardized by the presence of a third party in the form of besties. But most certainly, many are already caught up in the web of besties and don’t seem to see any harm in it. Even when they eventually see the harm in it, remedying the situation is usually a hard bit for them. But not anymore! Consider this piece as a blueprint to remedying such situations and having a spicy affair.